I Love You.

there isn't a day that goes by I don't, at some point, think of you.

you're always on my mind. no matter how hard i try, i can't take you out.

the more you say no. the longer i wait.

my heart shatters more everytime.

i wonder how long more i can take this.

i'm sure i'll break soon. very soon.

and when i do, who will be there for me ?

maybe quite a number of friends and family.

but it won't help. because when i finally break.

i will choose to be alone.

loneliness will be my new best friend.

'Iman you ok mah ?'

will be replied with silence. a cold cold silence.

maybe i should leave what i enjoy most in my poly life.

that's where i met you.

if i leave, maybe the feelings will leave too. eventually.

nah. i'm sure they won't leave. not till i venture into NS and turn gay.

but, how can i stay, when i'm in this state ?

i'm not the Iman in year 1.

neither am i the Iman in sec3 or sec4.

not laughing and being as cheerful as i was during those times.

cos i realised in poly, everything just comes and comes and comes.

all at once.

and then comes our rest time.

long holidays.

but before that, it's always the storm.

the hurricane.

the tornado.

the earthquake.

all coming at once.

now, i'm getting everything.

that's what i feel.

when will everything stop.

when will i get the time to do what i want.

when will my leisure life come back.

doing what i love and being with those i love.

studies. events. soccer. famiree. you.

those five are currently my passion now.

my life seems like,

problems, events, problems, famiree, problems, you, problems, problems, problems.

everywhere seems to have problems.

i don't even have time for soccer, and even my studies.

i'm just 2.55.

i have to study.

my ICAs and projects are all coming at once too.

i can juggle balls and bottles.

but not this.

sigh.

really gonna break soon.

i hope i don't.

cos once it happens, the only solution would be you.

i don't want that to happen.

i don't want to put pressure on you.

hais, i don't want to continue this note.

i need a hug real bad.

famiree, I Love You. (L)